January 21, 2010
This month we are focusing on the need for children to learn how to set goals, make decisions, and develop the confidence of knowing that they can make good choices.
Children can be taught to rise above circumstances and poor models for behavior offered by society. There is no greater gift to a child than the ability to make God-honoring decisions that will create a foundation for becoming an emotionally and spiritually mature young adult.
Children should be deliberately encouraged by their parents and grandparents to set achievable, deliberate goals for learning, personal growth, and their future. When children learn to set goals and reach them, they can visualize their future with hope and begin to believe that God has a wonderful plan for their lives, and that good and biblically-wise choices will bring those plans to completion.
There are barriers to overcome, however. This process may not be the easiest task a parent will undertake. Because of basic personality, as well as emotional and mental skills, some children may find this whole topic of goal-setting and decision-making a huge challenge, and their parents with them!
This is especially true for those with learning disabilities and attention deficit disorder. They often have processing issues which make it hard for them to plan ahead, to start and stop what they wish to do, and to monitor their own behavior. Some boys and girls, regardless of learning issues, are quite easily distracted from any goal, including those that they have set for themselves. All children, without proper encouragement and positive reinforcement, will likely get discouraged and lose confidence.
So, how can children be helped who are not by nature or skill able to easily make good choices or create reasonable, positive goals?
First, listen to their thoughts, dreams and ideas. Ask open ended questions that will help them clarify their own thinking. If the ideas seem outlandish or unrealistic, don't squelch them, rather guide them with realistic timelines, reachable mini-goals, and an awareness of rewards and consequences.
Then, let their own inner desire be the driving force behind their goals. If the motivation comes only from you as a parent or grandparent, then the process will flounder when the child must inevitably stand up to challenges alone. As I suggested in an earlier broadcast, the boy or girl must “own” the goal set before them, with eyes wide open about the potential challenges.
Do not let previous failure negate future potential. Children grow, learn and develop, at varying rates. What could not be
achieved last year may be within reach in 2010. Paul, himself wrote:
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Our broadcast today was sponsored by Laurie Lindquist at Interiors by Decorating Den. Let Laurie help you bring beauty into your home.