January 28, 2010
We have been examining this month on Heartland Focus the essential skill of goal-setting and decision making. I shared with you my personal conviction that this ability to deliberately make good choices and having the confidence to stick with them is a learned skill, one which godly parents neglect to their child’s peril.
Last week, I shared some of the possible barriers and challenges that may be confronted in this skill developing process. Because they are children, not simply small adults, boys and girls usually do not have the maturity or skill to consistently monitor their own behavior or wisely judge what is success or failure. Boys and girls are quite easily distracted from any goal, including those that they have set for themselves. Children, without proper encouragement and positive reinforcement from parents or grandparents, can get discouraged and lose confidence.
Children may lack perseverance when goals are not immediately achieved or difficulties and setbacks arise. Discouragement is quick to step in. As Moses said to Joshua in Deuteronomy: “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." That biblical truth does not just apply to leading nations into the Promised Land. It is also true for children pursuing godly life-goals.
Unless we teach children how to handle setbacks and failure, all of the other goal-setting skills will count for nothing. Children need to both know and experience the pain and struggle of hardship and setbacks. We do them no favor to protect them from this inevitable life experience.
Mistakes are opportunities to learn and the path to success often involves detours. Trying again after failure requires teaching them to say of themselves, “I am a child of God with the person and power of Christ within me. I am not going to quit or give up on a worthy goal.” However, ultimately successful individuals also demonstrate the ability of knowing when to set aside a goal. God does not always lead His children on a direct path to blessing.
Here are some specific ways that you can encourage your child to set goals and persist in accomplishing them:
- Notice when they are working towards their goals and praise them for it. Reward achievement of the mini-goals that are on the path to their ultimate success.
- Praise their goal-achieving and decision-making process as well as the final product. Offer words of praise for persisting, especially when the immediate results are disheartening.
- Help them identify a godly hero or mentor that inspires them, especially someone who overcame hardships by the power of God to achieve their own goals.
- When they succeed, ask them how they accomplished their goal. It is not contrary to biblical humility to let them speak of their success, if God ultimately is given the glory. Motivation for accomplishment must come from within, as prompted by the Spirit of God. People will not always be there to say, “good job.” They must be taught to listen to the quiet voice of God saying, “well done, good and faithful servant.”
Our broadcast today is sponsored by Friends of Heartland who urge you to consider Heartland Christian Academy as your family’s educational choice for next year.