February 11, 2010
February is a time that we traditionally think about relationships and the people that are important to us. For the next several weeks, I would like to focus on relationships in school, and how you as a parent can help foster healthy and encouraging relationships for your son or daughter.
Do you remember giving out valentines to your classmates as an elementary student? In my classes, we were encouraged to purchase a box of valentines, often with the theme of our favorite superhero or cartoon figure, and we would write the names of every classmate on a card, carefully fitting it in an envelope with a little candy heart with some barely legible writing on it. At the school party, every student had a decorated paper bag, and every student got a valentine from everyone else. Sometimes, if the teacher was especially nice, the envelope with her name on it would have two candy hearts tucked inside.
That simple tradition, still practiced at some schools, including Heartland, offers some important lessons:
- First, every boy or girl is special and important and deserving of being told that they are liked. Popularity contests will come soon enough. As a parent, you would do well to foster an appreciation for all the boys and girls in your child’s class. God made them all, and they are precious in His eyes. They should be in ours, as well.
- Second, children are naturally proud to give something to others, even if it is from a box of silly, pre-printed cards. Such goodwill and generosity should be encouraged, especially when the giving has no string attached of expecting anything in return. As principal, I receive many valentine cards, especially from the youngest students, and I see the pride in their eyes when I receive their simple gift, even if it is identical to ten others on my bulletin board.
- Third, this is a great time for a child to find out that a simple “thank you” goes a long way toward fostering friendship. The essential “attitude of gratitude” may be lacking a bit in this age of entitlements. That sad assessment does not need to be true of your child, as he says “thank you” to the teacher who hands out cupcakes to each suddenly starving boy or girl.
- Finally, these classroom valentine’s celebrations are a wonderful opportunity to express love and affection between classmates where typical boy-girl interactions are not appropriate. It is just so nice to have a “friend who is a boy” or a “friend who is a girl.” Relationally, our children must not be forced to grow up too quickly.
Because this broadcast is airing near Valentine’s Day weekend, let me offer one additional bit of counsel as both an educator and a parent. Allow your child to be an eyewitness to the love and affection to be found in a God-fearing family. Moms and Dads need not fear to show their preference for each other in front of the children, including appropriate displays of affection. That is an education that truly begins at home.
As your speaker, I have sponsored this program myself in honor of my own sweet valentine, my wife Laraine. Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart!