February 18, 2010
This month we are looking at the relationships that your child will develop during their school-age years. At Heartland, we pay attention to the relationships that are developing between our students, and we try our best to foster an atmosphere of friendship and mutual respect. It matters who your child picks as a friend, and it is a matter of grave concern when a parent confides, “my son or daughter has no friends.”
Although, to a certain extent, making friends is part of the emotional wiring that God has placed within us and comes naturally, I am convinced that we can teach our children some handy tools and principles for making and keeping friends at school.
- First, we as parents and grandparents must demonstrate our own ability to make and keep friends. Do the young ones in our household see us going out of our way to include others in our lives. Are we kind and generous, demonstrating the hospitality which is a hallmark of godliness in Scripture? Do they hear us talking to our friends with love and concern, and praying for our friends regularly. Are we upholding friendship as a gift from God, to be cherished and valued and protected? If we demonstrate these things daily, our children will model what they see in their relationships.
- Second, do our children understand what is meant when we say, “to get a friend, you must be a friend?” Some children are very outgoing, and do not need any prompting to demonstrate friendly behavior. For others, however, the basic social graces are a challenge. Talk with them about how to introduce yourself, find common interests, and share positive experiences that can blossom and grow into friendship. Role playing can be helpful, especially if your child is shy. Teach them how to handle disappointment, even rejection, without giving up.
- Third, help your older child be able to correctly identify positive and negative relationships. Not all apparent friendships are healthy. Manipulation, smooth-talking deception and subtle bullying can all be misinterpreted as friendship by an unsuspecting child. Teens, especially, need to know the danger signs that mean they should run, not walk, away from someone who could lead them away from honoring Jesus Christ. You have sound reasons to prayerfully intercede with the Lord regarding your child’s relationships, and to share the discernment that the Holy Spirit provides.
- Finally, integrate your child’s friendships into their faith journey. A boy or girl praying for a friend in need can be a powerful experience. Inviting a friend to church or Bible camp can make an eternal difference in their lives. Witnessing to a friend about salvation in Jesus Christ could awaken the desire in your child to share the Gospel with the world.
Do you know who your son or daughter counts as friends? You should. Your child’s teacher probably has a good idea. You and that teacher can partner together to make sure that the experience of childhood friendship is one of the positive hallmarks of their school experience.
Our program today was sponsored by the Tea ‘n Gift Shoppe of Bemidji, who invite you to slow down and enjoy a cup of tea.