July 1, 2010
If all goes as planned, you should be hearing this broadcast just before our national Independence Day. For this week’s Heartland Focus, I would like to share with you some thoughts on independence as it applies to our children and grandchildren. I am sure you are familiar with Solomon’s advice in Proverbs 22:6… “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Parenting is always in tension between the “training” and the “going.” As a Christian parent, there is an even greater sense of responsibility, because we know that our training of young lives accountable to us has eternal significance. We have a higher goal than having our children be merely “nice people” or “good citizens.”
Part of our task must include equipping our sons and daughters to leave the home of their childhood and become responsible adults who are accountable to God as independent persons. Paul wrote in I Corinthians 13:11 “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” He writes as one who understands that growing up must include important changes in how a boy or girl speaks, understands and thinks. Part of that change must be a growing sense of independence based on greater maturity and responsibility.
It is not an easy task for a parent to know how much responsibility and independence to give a child. Age is not a good criteria to use, nor what has been done with brothers or sisters. Every child grows up at his or her own rate, and a Godly parent will earnestly seek wisdom and discernment when judging the readiness of that child for greater freedom. Often, an incremental approach is warranted, where small steps of independence and responsibility successfully dealt with lead to even greater freedoms. Recall the passage in Luke 19:17 'Well done, my good servant!' his master replied. 'Because you have been trustworthy in a very small matter, take charge of ten cities.'
I would offer, however, one word of caution. Increasing independence does not go hand-in-hand with decreasing accountability. So long as children are still under the authority of mom and dad because they live in that household, accountability to parents for their actions and the fruit of their lives remains. Even after leaving home, an awareness that actions reflect on the whole family should offer a great incentive for responsibility and trustworthiness.
Finally, children must always be very aware that there is no such thing as independence from God as their heavenly Father. Choosing to stay home and sleep on a Sunday morning is NOT a sign of independence or maturity. No matter how old, it is a sign of disobedience to a Father in whose eyes we will always be children.
If you would like a transcript of this message, or hear it again by internet, go to the website for Heartland Christian Academy at www.heartlandbemidji.org.
Our broadcast today was sponsored by Northern Safety and Security, protecting home, businesses and loved ones in the Northland.